Totally Unauthorized

 

We’re on our way home. In fact, we’re 36,000 feet over Minnesota as I type this. Wifi on airplanes is wonderful. 

Gail got the only upgrade on this flight. When I asked, they just laughed, handed me a roll of duct tape and pointed out the way to the wing. 

We had quite an experience leaving Zurich this morning. We asked for some help so Gail didn’t have to walk all the way to the gate, and were off on an adventure. A man came with an electric cart, and all three of us piled on. We drove towards security, where they have an automatic system to check your boarding pass, then into the security gate itself. 

First, they made Kate delete the video she was making because it might have shown some personnel. Then an absurdly thorough screening; contents of my backpack checked, removed from bag and swiped, scanned and re-checked, pat down so complete I may be engaged to a guy in Switzerland and a litany of insane questions.  

Finally cleared, we got back into the cart, drove into an elevator, went up, drove for ages, into another elevator, went down, drove some more and got out 

Now we were at passport control, but only for the people in carts. One officer, with lots of questions like how long were you here, where did you come from, where are you going, what page did they stamp on your entry to Germany?  There were also three people sitting by an X-ray machine doing nothing in case anyone came in the other direction. 

Finished with that inquisition, we now got into a van and drove five minutes on hidden underground roads around the airport to our gate 

Another elevator, up, some more security people with the same inane questions about did anyone give you anything, and at last we were ready to board the plane. 

The plane was a Boeing 767, and I don’t like it. The interior design team should all be fired, or sent through Zurich security three times a day for a month. 

The tray is impossible to get out, and harder to replace. There is a touch sensitive light switch on the armrest which only works a couple of obscure mini-lights, but your arm constantly turns them on and off. The switch for the larger overhead lights is hidden in a closed compartment so well concealed you will never find it. The attendant call button is in the same place, but it doesn’t work, or the crew doesn’t work. In any event, we had little service. The seats aren’t very comfortable and don’t adjust well. A pox on the 767. 

After a two hour wait in JFK,  we boarded the final flight, then sat at the gate for an hour while some mystery fix was effectuated on some nameless system. 

We’ll be home in about four hours, I’ll sleep in my own bed and all will be right with the world. The end of another cool trip.